I am not a gay man or even a bisexual. I am a part of one of the most oppressed classes to exist in our modern era: the heteroflexible male. I only wish to have relationships with women! I have a girl in my life. There is no practical difference between me and any other straight man in our dating interests...
but Hiromu Toda is scientifically proven1 to be a sexy beast. That fact should be known by all living creatures.
eye whites that stand out due to dark makeup are incredibly sexy
shironuri is sexy
camera shyness is sexy
bleeding easily is sexy
Fig. D: Toda in Shinjuku Gewalt, again
straight nose is sexy
military-style hat is sexy
teeth are very sexy
microphone to mouth is sexy
being angled such that you can't even see his eyes underneath the shadow of his hat, as if he were an rpgmaker horror character, is unbelievably sexy
boney wrists are sexy
messy makeup is sexy
intense stare portrayed even without eyes is definitely sexy
Fig. F: Toda in Muchi Muchi Anago, as "Jumbo Toda"
nervous expression is sexy
thin arms are stupid sexy
weak constitution is sexy
apprehension to dance in a band where his only job is to dance is sexy
nurse dress is obviously sexy
Are you not swayed? Do you not feel something for those dark, likely photosensitive eyes? Those eyes that are thinking of Star Wars instead of you? Does his sickly face and quiet demeanour not attract you in some way?
1. according to a 2025 study with a sample size of one (yours truly)